There aren’t any good single men left on the streets of New York City. It seems like that’s what everyone is constantly telling us. And when Deanna* relocated to the city in late 2021, it was her turn to find out if there’s any truth to the statement. Recently single after his boyfriend, who was with her for three years split with her via Snapchat, Deanna joined Hinge and Tinder. It was about this time when a group on Facebook named Is You Dating the Same Guy NYC was launched as a good opportunity to follow. It had a rigorous prescreening process and community guidelines which served as a barrier to entry. It had 43,000 members strong. Deanna was interested, and she joined.
The community
The group, which was started with the sole purpose to assist women in determining whether they were being contacted by other people – was established in March 2022. Nearly every major US city is home to a similar group and the rules are simple: Everyone has the right to post anonymously, and there is no need to doxx or sharing sensitive information, nor can screen captures be removed from the community. There is no bullies, no victim-blaming or hateful remarks. Don’t tell a guy that he’s been posted in the group.read about it https://datingfortodaysman.com/ from Our Articles Following the scandal incident of West Elm Caleb, an individual with whom many women in New York shared negative dating experiences and linked the dots online, it seemed like a lot of women were in the market for a way of seeking out men who were similar to him. According to one TikTok user wrote during the day This is why we need an app where we can leave reviews of guys we’ve dated on Hinge.
This is, in fact, what the group had turned into by the time Deanna joined. Every time a new version of Are We Dating the Same Guy acts as a centralized location for women who are seeking guidance on their romantic lives or share their concerns about a man with whom they’ve had bad dating experiences. Loyalty-testing long-term boyfriends-that is, using other women to lure them through social media is also a trend. It’s all too easy to fall down a rabbit hole of screenshotted Hinge profiles, tales of hookups that didn’t work, and memes of the flaws of modern day dating. A lot of the most popular posts consist of photos of a person with his name asking who has matched or dated the person who is on the profile. Emojis with red flags are a common sight on seemingly unimportant but alarming posts that warn of an ex-partner or a bad time and are often accompanied by a downward arrow as well as the alarming phrases See comments for more info.
The popularity of online dating has been a major factor in our chances in recent times A recent study finding that about 39 percent of heterosexual couples had met their partner on the internet. It’s only natural that the romantic component of romance should be modified to fit the current digital age. Instead of gathering with small groups of acquaintances over a drink, or discussing the issues with coworkers, we’re now seeking the counsel of four thousand women who are experiencing similar-and in some cases similar experiences.
It’s demystified this idea that dating is easier for some women than it is for others, says Ellie who is a group member. Not to say that there aren’t privileges that exist however, it was useful for me to clarify my notion of dating. It’s not a contest with other women, but holding men to a more high standards than what I was used to before.
It’s not lost on me that certain behavior that’s promoted and facilitated by Are We the Dating the Same Guy would be an issue if displayed by potential partners. Photos, photos of private chats, and screenshots uploaded with no consent or knowledge are common. People look through social media profiles on an almost daily basis. In fact, it’s very easy for a romantic date to be to be the center of attention. Though Deanna enjoys being a part group, she’s got a few reservations. Sometimes you see people posting ‘If he wanted to, he would’ about paying for things or picking you up in an Uber, she states. But I’m afraid you’ll run into the problem where it can become this echo chamber of ‘Men’s repeatedly pushed us for a long time, we’re going to give it back.
We still live in a patriarchal society
We still live in an oppressive society. Until we’re truly equal this online interaction will be different in their impact based on the individual’s background. In the end, could a community like this really have active empowerment on one side of the coin, and morally reprehensible and inhumane on the other? Are We All Dating the Same Guy is hyperlocal and inter-personal, but only for those who live or date in the area the group is located in. The women, and the men they write about may be your neighbors, coworker, friend, family member, or even your most recently Hinge match. And yet, there’s a loss of personalization that is a result of operating on the internet, which makes it seem like being a game. It’s not too far to suggest this is demeaning on the dates that are part of both groups, especially when details of private conversations, intimate interactions and even photos are being shared without their knowledge or consent, often in the name of entertainment.